Billie Eilish gets brutally honest about impostor syndrome and feeling "hopeless"
Perth, Australia - Billie Eilish is getting real about the challenges of being a woman in the music industry.
In a new interview with BBC 100 Women, the 20-year-old singer admitted that she has struggled with significant feelings of "hopelessness" in the past.
The double standards that female artists face in the industry led Eilish to feel limited in her possibilities.
Having started out her career at just 14 years old, the Happier Than Ever artist admitted that she felt that she wasn't being taken seriously by others in the industry.
Eilish said that being a woman in the male-dominated world of music contributed to her feelings of hopelessness, as she felt she didn't have the same career possibilities as her male counterparts.
"I remember just crying in my bed because I was thinking about the kind of show I would want to put on," she revealed per The Daily Mail.
"I would just feel so hopeless because I'm a girl, so I'm never going to be able to have a show like that, I'm never going to be able to be free up there and wild."
Billie Eilish admits growing up in the public eye was "bruising"
The singer also admitted that growing up in the public eye was "a very bruising experience," and that it's caused her to struggle with establishing her own identity outside the public's perceptions of her.
Eilish described gaining a sense of power from dressing more masculine, which has been a trademark of her style from the start of her career.
She also said that she's been able to draw on her feminine side a bit more recently and can find an important sense of power in the balance between the two styles.
"I struggled with it for a long time because I wanted to feel feminine and like it but I just didn't really, but it's finding moments when you can have that and it feels good still," she said.
Eilish said that seeing so many women succeed in the industry has given her a vital sense of hope. "The way that women have been absolutely towering over everyone in this industry right now, it's so exciting to me," she said.
She feels particularly inspired that women have been succeeding doing "all kinds of different things."
"There's such a range right now and so nice to see and it's refreshing and new and it's never been like that," Eilish said. "It's really cool to be a part of it."
Cover photo: collage: PATRICK T. FALLON / AFP, screenshot/Instagram/@billieeilish